Today is officially the first day of summer.Boom.I was thinking about all the things I like to do in the summer but haven't had time for due to work and more work, which made me sad more than anything.Well I've been home from school for over a month now -- I need to get out.
I don't want to look back at this summer and not remember it...or regret wasting it.Instead of wallowing in self-pity slash disappointment, I need to make an effort to get moving, get motivated.None of my things-to-do-in-the-summer are going to get accomplished by me just hoping they will --action is necessary.
I am excited to explore.I want to rediscover what makes home so great, try and learn new things, go to hidden places, laugh, dance, see.Everyday should have a purpose, everyday I should learn something new. No longer will my days be wasted; laziness is no excuse. If I want to get something out of this, I have to put something into it...my time, my attention, my care.
So here's to you, my summer -- we're going to have a ball.
It always amazes me how the Lord shows up in the least expected places when I need it most.
For the past few weeks, I had not been sleeping well...or at all. I had no idea why, but I knew the Lord was about to deal with me. Well, a thirty-hour drive and a week trip to Oregon proved to not only bring about fun and fellowship, but epiphanies too. As we sat in the back of Bekah's van on our way to Detroit Lake and talked about where we felt the Lord was leading us or what are biggest desires in life were, for the first time, I doubted my future career, what I have been working towards for the past two years.
My heart was troubled, my heart was broken--
Am I really pursuing the future that God has planned for me, or am I compromising for second best because I had no faith in the first place? Heavy stuff. Needless to say, I had a mini-break down ...there were tears...because it dawned on me that I have this passion burning inside of my soul that I continue to ignore simply because I never believed I was good enough to be successful...or even try. My heart's desire has always been to do what the Lord has called me to do, to serve Him fully; my passions would be the passions that He has placed inside of me. Am I trying to do this my own way? Rebecca reminded me that whatever I was going through would only work out for good: either this would solidify my current choices or it would change them; I'll end up where God wants me to be. And as always, she encouraged me to pray and truly seek Him.
And the prayers continue--
About three days ago, I finally purchased a copy of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It's a one-year, daily devotional that discusses basic Bible principles that are very applicable to everyday life. Both my roommates, Rebecca and Bekah, have gone through it more than once and have been suggesting it to me for quite some time. Boom. I bought it. I did my first study last night, and low and behold, just what I needed to hear. It was all about fully committing every part of my life to Him, not doing things on my own.
"The attitude necessary for you to come to Him is one where your will has made the determination to let go of everything and deliberately commit it all to Him." (Chambers). -- Clearly there are parts of my life that I'm holding on to, such as my future. Who am I to say that the Lord is not able to allow me to succeed in any arena of life, even if I don't believe I have the ability? If He has called me to do it, He will make a way.
"If I simply come to Jesus, my real life will be brought into harmony with my real desires." (Chambers).
It's time to rest in the Lord, to have faith in how He will work in my life. Whether this means staying strong in what I'm doing or completely changing gears to something new, I am ready to listen, I am ready to follow. Yes.
"Come to me, all who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
