Traditions.

There's no place like home for the holidays.

The older I get, the more I begin to appreciate this very true (and ridiculously cliché) phrase.  Nothing can possibly compare to all the little things that my family does to make Christmas one of my favorite times of the year.  And most of the time there are not even good --if any-- explanations for why we do what we do.  But it makes me feel like a kid again...even if for just a brief moment. 

So as I reminisce, here are some "Konopackaclassics" for the Christmas season -- which I love so very much.

1. Our Christmas tree is (and will always be) real.  We go to this adorable farm in the middle of nowhere and cut down the perfect tree, followed by twinkle lights and decorations.  I personally love seeing the terrible homemade ornaments from my childhood years.  What was I thinking…

2. Christmas Eve consists of Happy Joe's pizza and a holiday movie (The Grinch, The Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life…).  Fancy dinners are so last year.
3. My siblings and I all share a room on Christmas Eve.  This eliminates head starts and sneak-peak attacks.  We also just really like each other.   
4. We open all gifts on Christmas morning, regardless of how much my little sister begs.  It adds to the anticipation.  And Mom and Dad must be awake with coffee in hand before the morning commences.
5. Whoever wears the Santa hat passes out all the gifts.  Abby always wears the Santa hat. 
6. Each sibling has "their bow" that must be placed on "the-mom-and-dad-gift" every year.  Mine is blue and silver and ginormous.
7. When we make Christmas cookies, there is a system.  Do not mess with the system. 
8. When the song "Baby It's Cold Outside" comes on, you must run to the kitchen and walk around in a slo-mo robot fashion.  I am not sure why.  It is just the rule.
9. Any Christmas music made before the year 2000 may not be voluntarily played when my father is home…whether we actually abide by this is more or less debatable.  
10. "I am not giving some fat man in a red suit who does not even exist credit for all my hard work.  I am Santa." -- Dad.  *Sorry if I just ruined that for anyone…*

But most importantly, Christmas is the celebration of our Savior's birth.  Year after year my parents remind us of how blessed we are to have such traditions to look forward to; it is what makes our family Christmas so special.  My favorite tradition is when we place the nativity scene underneath the Christmas tree to remind us why we celebrate, to remind us why we are here.  Because of Jesus.  How beautiful. 

He is the reason for the season.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And behold,  an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.  Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: 

“ Glory to God in the highest, 

And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Luke 2: 8-14

This is the epitome of Christmas -- wrapped up into one beautiful song. 

And I am obsessed with it.  

A Blessing in Disguise.

I was recently inspired by a conversation on Facebook between a slew of siblings.  They were going back and forth with inside --family-- jokes...and it would be safe to say they were the only ones who knew what all the hubbub was about.  It was hilarious.  But it also instantly reminded me of my siblings and how we often interact with each other…

But where does it come from -- this beauty of personal, even sometimes silent, communication.

From 2nd-6th grade, I was homeschooled.  I will be the first to admit that I obtain some of the stereotypical-because-you-were-homeschooled tendencies.  It happens.  I will also be the first to (honestly) tell you how I really felt about being homeschooled...

Truth --

I hated being homeschooled.  I did not care for 4-H or sewing or knitting or wearing dresses, which was apparently the "norm" for the homeschooling population that I grew up with (which my mother never forced me to conform to, despite the loads of bologna she got for it...hallelujah).  I could never find my niche, as apparently everyone else managed to do.  School was boring.  Most of my learning was done through textbooks (homeschooling curriculum), and the only time I was with other students is when other homeschooling families collaborated, which was more rare than not.  People thought we were weird because my brother and I did not go to (real) school…"Do your parents not believe in school?" 

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that…

At the time, it felt like a trap -- and I wanted out.  There were even times that I thought maybe I did something wrong or something was wrong with me...my parents were embarrassed of me or something (but it should be noted that I had a beyond-the-typical imagination of a child -- I am blessed with very proud parents).  I just wanted to feel normal for once.  But I knew from deep down somewhere that my parents were doing what they thought was best -- I believed them. 

So I just continued on, hoping that it would all make sense some day. 

Now as a Junior in college and am about to venture home for the Christmas holidays, I cannot wait to see my family, to say the least -- they are so precious to me.  Being away is so unnatural, as I spent most of my life in my house with my family, growing up together.  And sure, that is the case for most kids...for anyone; time spent with loved ones is special, often even more than that.  But there are no words to express the bond that I have with my mother, with my father, with my sister, with my brother -- because they were there literally every day, whether I wanted it or not...which I often take for granted. 

If I would have been in school all those years, I would have missed watching my baby sister grow up and being able to teach her what being a kid was all about.  I would not have had the incredible opportunity of being best friends and partners in crime with my big brother, which is not the case for many little sisters.  There were places that I got to go and things that I got to see that other kids could not, because I was home.  For heaven sakes, the three of us (myself and my siblings) all share the smallest bedroom in the house when we are all home together, just because we do not want to be apart for that long...and maybe that is one of those stereotypical-because-you-were-homeschooled tendencies, but it is what I look forward to most when I go home.  It is perfect.  I would not have it any other way.  

This is why we do not have to talk to speak.  This is why I want to be home more often than not.  This is why I love my family the way I love my family.  This is why I am the way that I am.  

It all makes sense now.

Thank you, Mom and Dad -- for our family.   

My Niños.

Over the past semester, I have been attending a local elementary school every Tuesday and Thursday and working with first-grade little people to develop their reading and writing skills.  I did everything from observing, small group work, and creating slash teaching lesson plans, to being teacher for the day (thank you, substitute lady).  And my partnering teacher could not have been a better match -- she was such an excellent example of what a teacher should be. 

What a blessing. 

The school itself has about 600 students, 400 of them speaking a different first language other than English.  I was fortunate enough to be placed in a classroom with students who speak Spanish as their native language.  So for the three hours I would be there, I was communicating, teaching, and learning in Spanish.  Super cool.  Super scary.  I did not know I was even capable of this and was pretty much a living example of "fake it till you make it…" But I was very honest with my students when I had no idea what to say or had no idea what they were saying -- they knew I was just as much of a student as they were.  This created a learning environment of trust and vulnerability, which I am now convinced should always be the case.  And they were so good to me, even though it was just hilarious to them the majority of the time.

I would not have had it any other way.

The whole experience was just so beautiful.  Seeing how much they grew over the semester was phenomenal, to say the least.  And knowing that I was a component to their development just brings me joy...so much joy.  I have learned so much, and these words are in no way sufficient to express that.  Everything the textbooks and professors taught me meant absolutely nothing the moment I walked through those doors.  It is all about experience.

Every classroom, every child, and every day will be different. 

There is so much to learn from little people; they have a lot to say without having to say anything.  We do not nearly give them enough credit for how ingenious they truly are.  Their perspective of learning -- of their world -- has yet to be tainted by society.  They are so free, because that is all they know.  They just want to be loved ...they are humans, for heaven sakes (which we often forget).  And I have the incredible opportunity of nurturing and shaping these little humans into our inevitable future. 

So much power, so much potential.

On Thursday, my last day of practicum, one of my little girls whispered into my ear…"We have a surprise for you and made cards for you but I am not suppose to tell you because it is a secret and it is because we love you." -- Holy precious.  These are moments that I live for, that make me want to do this --teach-- for the rest of my life.  They did not want me to go, and neither did I.  I wanted to cry so badly, knowing that I may never have the opportunity to learn with them ever again.  But I was so overjoyed, so blessed to be a part of something, of someone, so beautiful.

All I could do was smile.

I am going to miss my kids, my niños -- their smiling faces, their hugs, their light-bulb moments, their limitless imaginations, their trust.  They will always have a special place in my heart...my first students.  And I can only thank none other than my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such amazing little people to work with, for an experience of a lifetime.  We were a perfect fit. 

He knew I needed them, He knew they needed me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"...Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and Me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them."

Mark 10:14-16

'Tis The Season.

This year, more than any other year, the importance of Christmas -- what it really means to me -- has been resonating in my soul.  Since I was a tot, Christmas has always been the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  Thank you Mom and Dad.  And it is always such a happy time, as it should be.  There is thanksgiving to be had, no doubt.  But the older I get, the more I realize how much weight there is in all of this...in Christmas.

It is so much more than His birth --

God Almighty sent His son to this Earth, which He created, to live a perfect and sinless life, to perform miracles, to save my soul -- so He could die.  The whole point of His existence was to be terminated.  It was He, being completely surrendered to the will of the Father, who gladly paid for my freedom in God so that I may live eternally with Him.  Gladly...

I am the most hell-deserving sinner, yet, I have a God who is forgiveness and unconditional love .  I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around this, making it all the more beautiful.  And Christmas is just that, celebrating the awesome wonder of my God, giving thanks for His life and death...that I may live. 

Jesus paid it all;

All to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow. 

It is the most wonderful time of the year. 

 "For unto us a child is born,

Unto us a Son is given;

And the government shall be upon His shoulders.

And His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And on a completely separate, but very special note --

This morning I had the privilege to witness my best friend, Rebecca, be baptized for the first time as a fully-devoted follower of Christ.  It was beautiful.  And I cannot say it enough, how proud I am of her...so proud.  The Lord has blessed me with this life-long friendship.  Amen.  We continue to grow in our faith together as daughters of Christ, encouraging and challenging each other to be fully sold out for Him.

Congratulations, Rebecca.  I am so proud.  You are a beautiful example of Christ living in and through you -- giving Him all the glory.  Thank you for letting me be a part of your life.  I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for you.  He will do great things.

"Oh don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Christ were baptized into His death?  We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."

Romans 6:3-4