'Til Death Do Us Part.

Dear Grandpa,

Last weekend the whole Konopacki family got together to celebrate Busha's 75th birthday -- old photos, close friends, good memories, polka dancing, laughter, tears, family…   Busha was so happy and so blessed that all of us could be there just for her.  

You would you have been so proud. 

I wanted more than anything for you to be there.  It just seemed fit.  Seeing you in so many pictures and hearing so many stories about you was nothing less than bitter sweet.  I miss your smiling face and gentle eyes.  I miss your jokes at dinner and your never-ending abilities to make me laugh.  I miss polka dancing in the garage to Polka Dan and Spike Jones.  I miss learning from you.  I miss you holding me, telling me everything will be alright.

When I was a little girl, I thought you were invincible -- you were my super hero.  You were perfect in my eyes.  I wanted to grow up and be just like you.  But here's the thing...I still do.  You are still invincible,  you are still my super hero. 

But life moves on, you know?  And it hurts, it hurts really bad.  I am afraid you are going to become just a faint memory, something that happened once upon a time.  I do not want the part of me that was with you to be pushed under the rug, like it never happened. 

But in my deepest of souls I know this could never happen.  I love you too much.

Your love for your wife, for your children, for your grandchildren -- for your family -- is still present today.  I now know the importance of family, and not just having one, but staying close, loving each other through thick and thin.  That's what I love about my family, our family.  You have established this need in all of us, children and grandchildren alike.  We want to spend time together, growing up and growing old together.  We love each other and always will.  We are family. 

So, thank you -- for more than we even know.

I can't wait to see you again, on that glorious day.  Until then, know that I love you and always will.  Because I knew you, I have been changed for the better, changed for good.

Love always,

Beth.  

Just Because.

The last couple of days have been full of internal reflection...

On Sunday morning, I was challenged and compelled to evaluate my desire to follow Christ, seeing if it is full of a genuine passion or if it is something of predestine belief, because this is how it has always been.

Does my understanding of the freedom of the Gospel lead me to the freedom to follow Christ?

Many times I find myself explaining why I choose or rather not choose certain behaviors, beliefs, expectations, etc over others.  My answer is usually a matter of right from wrong, how I believe I should be carrying myself in a given way. 

But it is more than that --

Having a religion and having a relationship are two different concepts:  Religion is tradition, because that is what establishes good and bad, because that is what you are suppose to do.  Having a relationship, with God Almighty Himself, is about making the determination to let go of everything and deliberately commit it all to Him --  I get to follow Him, because of His sacrifice, because of His unconditional love.

It should not be a matter of "because that's just the way it is…", it should be a matter of holding myself to His standards that He has set before me so that I am able to pursue His will for my life and serve Him accordingly, for His glory. 

Making God my reason for purpose allows me to experience His perfect favor and blessing -- a reflection of His never-ending grace and mercy, no doubt.  And once I have been filled with His Spirit, I have the opportunity to share it with others, to be His witness to those who are lost, without hope.

This concept is nothing new, it just finally clicked; it became real to me.  Being a child of God is a privilege, and I should be a living, breathing sacrifice for His name's sake…

Because I get to.   

"He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

-Matthew 10:39

Yellow Rain.

As I sat on the West Bank of campus today enjoying my Starbucks and the daily crossword puzzle, I was completely taken by the trees that were in front of the building in which I was sitting ...

They were yellow, a vibrant yellow, and the branches seemed to move like waves, back and forth.  The blue sky peaked through the pockets of the leaves, trying to get it's fair share of attention.  And as the wind blew, hundreds of tiny yellow leaves slowly twirled to the ground, almost like rain -- it was incredible. 

I know Fall is now in session, meaning the trees get noticed a lot more, almost as if they are a new entity to our world.  But this was different, unlike anything I had ever seen before.  Who knew something so simple, like the natural occurrence of leaves falling of the trees, could be so breath taking. 

The most simple things are often times the most beautiful --

Then I got exited, because I remembered that those yellow trees, so perfect in their existence, were a reflection of the Creator Himself.  And even more so amazing, I too was made to reflect Him.  That's powerful, to know that He cared so much about who I was going to be that He created me in His perfect image. 

Nature is a miraculous wonder, always changing, never ceasing to amaze.  And I am so thankful -- to be considered beautiful in His eyes. 

"I will praise You forever, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows well." 

 - Psalms 139:14

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