Torn.

Summer is my favorite season...so warm, so much to do, no school.  Holla.  I love home, and I love Wisco.  But usually by now (as it is towards the end of summer's reign) I am more than eager to return to my city in Minneapolis...

I have yet to be excited --

This summer has been a "me" summer, if you will.   Meaning, I've pretty much done what I've wanted to do and taken a lot of time for myself to discover and see -- not worrying about adult stuff and such.  It's pretty neat... living the "it will all work out" theory.  I like it.

But I have one week left--

One week to tie up loose ends and finish everything I've attempted to start this summer.  I think I'm really worried, worried that I'll leave home with unfinished business.  Did I spend enough time with my family?  Did I use my time wisely?  Am I leaving anyone behind?  ...Gah.  This is also probably why I can't sleep. 

But to be fair to myself, I did a lot this summer:

• Road trip to Oregon (yes, drove across the country in a little car with three lovely people while dining on animal crackers and cupcakes...and yes, the mountains were SO worth it).
• Singin' in the Rain musical (dream come true).
• Rochester (one word...Hoedown).
• 4th of July with the fam (all my best friends in my home for a whole weekend.  Be jealous).
• First real family vacation (ever).
• Youth Retreat (Found my voice).
• Pretty Little Liars and chocolate cake.
• Working with little people (best people in the world).
• True love (...Phineas and Ferb.  Don't judge).
• Konopacki Family Reunion (love these folk).
• Jenny (867-5309).
• Dress feddish.
• Stars located (not via astronomy).

And that's not even the whole list...who knew.  Focusing on what I've accomplished instead of what I may not feel is complete seems so much more gratifying.  Sure, nothing is wrong with missing home -- I have a lot of people and places and people that I love and have no desire to leave (if only you kids fit in my suitcase...).  And sure, my summer didn't go exactly as planned.  But isn't that what I wanted all along?  To love more than I ever have: my family, my friends, my home.  To fly by the seat of my pants.  To not worry about growing up.

If I wouldn't have accomplished this, even the slightest bit, leaving would be so much easier.  I am excited to see my Minneapolis again...it's my home away from home.  But I am sad to let all this go, all this  freedom and discovery and love.  And as much as I want just a little more time to feel ready, a little more time will always add up to never moving on...and life thrives on forward motion.

So cheers to you, summer.  It's been good. 

Until next year.