Inspiration.

I often wonder where I am suppose to get my inspiration to live a life larger than myself.  How am I suppose to know whether my motivation is for the sake of proving myself or because that is what I am actually suppose to be doing?  I want my inspiration to be authentic.  I want my motivation to be from Him.

If we look in the Bible, the Lord gives us piles upon piles of accounts of people and their journeys and the ways in which the Lord worked through them.  But I do not believe these stories were put in the Bible merely for the sake of existing -- We should use them, learn from them, imitate them.

And if this is truly the case, then I think the Lord put the people we have in our lives for the same purpose.  Sometimes I worry that I am being a "copy cat" or not being original enough...whatever that is actually suppose to mean.  But, if someone can inspire me to do something with my life that is for the greater glory of God and pushes me outside my comfortable life box, then kudos to them, and more importantly, thank you God.

I find myself living in such a comfortable world, rarely without a sense of urgency, rarely with the desire to go places...to disciple.  But I am called.  I am called to fulfill the purpose of my Savior, to reach out to His lost and hurting people.  But never are we suppose to do this out of a sense of obligation or a feeling of being inadequate.  It should be --it is-- a direct reflection of His love, that He did not come to this world for nothing. 

I do not think I have ever experienced more uncertainty and confusion for my future then I am experiencing right now.  And although this can be somewhat daunting, it is also an opportunity - to press in, to pray, to let the Lord guide my steps.  My life is that of a blink of an eye and cannot even compare to glorious eternity, and I want to spend every moment of it as a humble servant for my Lord -- whatever He wills, I follow.

Where I go next with my life is currently unclear.  But I know I have a desire to go, I know I have a passion to fulfill His heavenly purpose, and I know that I will not be disappointed if I simply chose to follow.  And until then, I will continue to be thankful for the people in my life who are doing what I should be doing, who inspire me to go.

I thank God for you every day. 

"Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing."

Philippians 2:14-16